Making Sense of Pain

Pain is not something I’ve written about before. In many ways life has treated me fairly well, and I have been pretty blessed never having to worry about much. However I’m also well aware that life is not all smooth sailing. After looking for work for about a year, I finally got my first job offer three weeks ago, only to have my work visa application rejected because of changes in immigration policies.

When I first heard news of that, I was nonchalant about it. It’s not that I’m immune to setbacks, but in a way I was mentally prepared for such a result. As I ruminated over the matter and talked it over with friends, my state of mind swung between the positive and the negative. My family and friends are here, and I believed that I had the necessary competency to add to this society. This is where I call home, if only temporarily.

After being worn out looking for work for over a year, I was tired, and didn’t want to fight further. This is not my long term home, and I can always go to less restrictive markets. That’s a beauty of open markets. Those who want a more competitive lifestyle can choose it, whereas those who prefer a slower pace of life can choose accordingly. And that was my position till a friend “scolded” me for my lack of fighting spirit. My view was that there are things that I will fight for, there are people I will fight with, but this wasn’t something that I would give my whole life for.

Then I had an epiphany. While this is not something I would kill myself over, why not make use of it and treat is as training for something that I may need to fight for in the future? Maybe there is some use for the pain that has come through no choice of my own, for me to learn to fight.

I’m thankful for my circle of friends who have been supporting me all this way, and for my boss who’s shown me much favor. The best is yet to come. Amen.

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